Age of Rebellion: Goodbye Mummy

Very different change of pace from by    Patricia's done some lovely works for me in the past, and was my first choice for something like this.  Here's Commander Karae Palladane of the Systems Alliance as she says an emotional farewell to her daughter Mari.

I sometimes think I only show off the pin-ups here on DA, and maybe that gives the wrong idea about my game.  I know some people assumed it was a kind of sex-parody version of Star Wars, which isn't really the case.  It's kind of like learning about the original movies while only watching Slave Leia cosplays.  In any case, we take it seriously, and maybe I should showcase these moments as much as all the naked flesh and fanservice.

(And if nothing else, it's nice to have something now and again that I don't have to put as 'Mature Content'!)

“I've got a friend, he's a pure-bred killing machine

He says he's waited his whole damn life for this

I knew him well when he was seventeen

Now he's a man he'll be dead by Christmas - 

 And so, everybody's going to war

But we don't know what we're fighting for

Don't tell me it's a worthy cause -

No cause could be so worthy!

If love is a drug, I guess we're all sober

If hope is a song, I guess it's all over

How to have faith, when faith is a crime?

I don't want to die...

If God's on our side, then God is a joker

Asleep on the job, his children fall over

Running out through the door and straight to the sky -

I don't want to die…!

For every man who wants to rule the world

There'll be a man who just wants to be free

What do we learn but what should not be learned?

Too late to find a cure for this disease…” 

Nerina Pallot, ‘Everybody’s Gone To War’

The older woman shook slightly as she held her child.  Sixteen candles burned in her mind.  Every time she thought of what could happen, her heart skipped a beat.  She had fought the Galactic Civil War for two decades, and she had faced hordes of soulless clone warriors, towering Imperial death machines twenty metres high, and grotesque flesh-eating monsters on death worlds. She had faced down a Star Destroyer at the head of a flight of recommissioned Y-Wings, and brought all her pilots home safely.  They said she had ice in her veins, that nothing truly frightened her – that wasn’t true, but she knew how to keep it in, how to lead with confidence and instil courage in others. 

And now, for the first time in her life, she was truly afraid.

She draw the small head close to her chest and whispered softly in the girl’s ear.

“You must promise me, sweetheart – you have to swear it to me… That your secret things, the gifts… you have to keep them hidden.  I know how much you thrill to them… I know how special it makes you…! You’re my little girl and nothing will ever change that! But… you have to promise me. You must never tell anyone, never show them to anyone at all except me.  You must promise me, please darling…”

The young women nodded sombrely.  “Yes Mummy. I promise.”

It saddened her to say it, to swear to keep such splendid and wonderful things secret, bottled up inside her.  The voices, the dreams… the images, the words from far away, the wondrous connection she felt to other living things…! To feel each blade of grass, every tree waving its branches in the wind, every little creature rustling in the undergrowth… to touch every mind in the cities, the bustling hive-mind of a million wonderful strangers, to hear the thrum of its life-pulse, the heart-beat of civilisation…

But Mummy had made her promise, so she had to do as Mummy asked.

“It won’t be forever, darling,” her mother whispered softly.  “I’m… trying to find a way… You’re so very special… and there are bad people who would want to use that… Who want to hurt those like you who are gifted…”

“But… you’re fighting the bad people, aren’t you?” Mari murmured.  She knew her Mummy was a hero, that she had to fight the Imperium, the Jedi Confederacy, all the bad people in the wide galaxy. That was why she could never stay for long.

“Yes. Yes, I am… And I promise you, I’ll… I’ll find you somewhere safe. I’ll find someone we can trust, to look after you when I can’t be here.”

Mari nodded slowly.  “Yes, Mummy.”  She paused.  She sucked in breath before the next question, the one she always asked.  “But… it will be over one day, won’t it? The War won’t fight forever.  One day you will win and you can come home for good?”

Karae brushed her daughter’s hair from her little face.  “Yes, darling. I hope so.  I’m trying to make that happen.  But first… I have to find somewhere you will be safe.”

Mari didn’t understand – she loved her home here, away in the country, the pastoral gardens and the little townships.  It was quiet and gentle and far from the terrible things her Mummy had to face.

“But… I feel safe here, Mummy. I wish I didn’t have to leave.”

Karae kissed her daughter on the forehead.

“I know, my sweet.  But I have to take care of you.  That’s the most important thing.”

She wondered inwardly if there was anywhere in the galaxy her little girl would be truly safe.  The fear of it stabbed her like a knife.  For she was Sensitive, one who could connect to what the Jedi called ‘the Force’ – to tap into a conduit of incredible power, to literally move mountains through faith and discipline alone. 

And among the Systems Alliance, that made her a resource too valuable to overlook.  The Alliance was dwarfed by its enemies, tiny compared to the limitless fleets of the shattered Imperium, the clone hordes of the Jedi. They had to pick their battles, use every resource imaginable, a force that was comparatively small and elite.  And every Sensitive had to be trained for the battlefield.  There were no exceptions – the Emergent Project became their home, their cause.  While not the equal of a Jedi with their decades of training, each Emergent was still an army unto themselves, and could crush a great many enemy ships with a wave of their hand.

But Karae worked in Special Forces. She knew a lot more than most.  And knew all the horror stories, the things that High Command didn’t let become common knowledge.  The burn-outs, the breakdowns. Those who did not make it unscathed through the training – the rumours of suicides and madness, of children pushed past their limits, their potential sacrificed for victory.  She had always told herself that it was an acceptable loss, that every war had its casualties, and that the Alliance had to use every resource it could.  She told herself that, but when her own daughter began to manifest her gifts, six years past, she stopped believing it.

And then she said the words that always tore through her, the ones that cut like razors to her heart:

“I wish I could come with you, Mummy. You shouldn’t have to fight alone, I want to help too. I want to stop the bad people.”

She drew her daughter to her, kissing her long tresses, and shuddered.  Mari was gentle and unspoiled; at home among her gardens and growing things.  She belonged somewhere she could pick flowers and tend to animals and trees.  The horrors of the military life – let alone the battlefield itself – would destroy her utterly... it would eat her alive and spit her out.

'Over my dead body', the Commander decided.  I have given my life to the Alliance. Long ago, I made a choice.  War is my calling; serving the Alliance is my life. I would give my own life in service without a thought, and without regret.  But I will be damned to Byss if I will let them take my daughter.

But what choice did she have? By keeping her daughter’s Sensitivity secret, she was risking her career, perhaps their lives.  But if not the Alliance, then where else? She had wondered about Aleyna’s friends, the so-called ‘Followers of the Temple’.  But Aleyna herself admitted she was uncomfortable with many aspects of the Followers – they were in some ways a cult, devotees of a charismatic preacher.   There was a licentious element to what she had seen, and Karae was certain she did not want that for her innocent little girl.  She wondered if she might be better served by staying on the run, perhaps with Tallisbeth’s privateers, the smugglers of the Krayt Fang? But that young adept, the Ulnar girl, could barely understand her own powers, let alone teach someone else.  Karae knew her daughter was starting to suffer from it – the headaches, the sickness, the nightmares, the bleeding.   A sensitive’s body was a living conduit for the Force, and with great power came terrible dangers. 

There were times, as insane as it sounded, she wondered if Mari would be better off with the Jedi.  The Order had its significant drawbacks, but they had lived with the Force for two millennia, understood it like no others.  They cared for Sensitives above ordinary men and women, and understood the dangers and potential more than anyone.  But she knew they were obsessed with their bloodlines, with the genetic inheritance of the Force.  That in itself made her uneasy. And besides, after Dathomir, they were at bitter war with one another.  As the Empire fragmented under its own weight, the Alliance and the Confederacy fought an increasingly bitter conflict.  To even consider accepting the help of the Jedi was high treason now.

She held onto her daughter a moment longer.  Both were unwilling to let go.  Drawing away from Mari felt like tearing her own skin, ripping apart her own flesh.

Her daughter nodded simply, her eyes full of sorrow and yearning.

“I will be back for you,” Karae promised, fervently.  “I promise. Be brave, my darling. I love you…”

“I know,” Mari nodded sorrowfully.  “Goodbye, Mummy.”