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"You've been acting awful tough lately

Smoking a lot of cigarettes lately

But inside, you're just a little baby...

It's okay to say you've got a weak spot

You don't always have to be on top

Better to be hated, than loved, loved, loved for what you're not...

You're vulnerable, you're vulnerable

You are not a robot...

You're loveable, so loveable

But you're just troubled...

Guess what? I'm not a robot..."

 

Marina and the Diamonds; 'I Am Not A Robot'




The last in the series from :iconradprofile:,who I think you'll agree has done my characters proud!

The 'Haestevar Hurricanes' beach volley team; the battlemind Jenn'lar Temlin and the Lady-Paladin Rune Westlake.


Jenn: "W-what the hells are you doing? Stop it!"

Rune: 'I am measuring the weight of your left mammary gland, friend Jenn. You will be pleased to know it weighs a prodigious four and one half pounds."

Jenn: "I don't care! Let go!"

Rune: "Your chirurgeon is very skilled, friend Jenn. They look very real. Unless one can detect silicon as I can."

Jenn: "Okay, tinribs - that's enough!"

Rune: "I do not understand your inference, friend Jenn. My ribs are not made of tin, but an almost indestructible adamantine alloy. Ah yes; human humour! 'Tinribs'; an implication I am an artificial construct! That is most humorous. But while your beautiful full breasts are artificial, you should remember that I am wholly inorganic. I approve of your desire to upgrade yourself using synthetic means."

Jenn: "Y-you're supposed to be a paladin, aren't you? Since when did paladins get off touching people up?"

Rune: "The Divine Order of DolArrah does not forbid consensual sexual coupling, friend Jenn. My sensors detect you are sexually aroused. I would very much like you to help me explore my sexual parameters."

Jenn: "W-what? You're some kind of... sex-bot?"

Rune: "I do not recognise that terminology. But I was designed with a full suite of emotions and with sexual pleasure centres that approximate those of a human female, yes. And while I am a virgin, I am programmed with a range of pleasuring techniques. Your dilated pupils and racing heart-rate indicate sexual arousal, friend Jenn. Will you couple with me?"

Jenn: "I - I am NOT aroused! *blush* This is your last warning -"

Rune: *smiles* "Roswyn has removed my integral weapon systems so I may participate in the beach volleyball game. You shall come to no harm, friend Jenn. I very much anticipate our exchange of bodily fluids."

Jenn: "Y-you have bodily fluids...?"

Rune: "Alas not, friend Jenn. I was using a human expression of speech. But when my internal power structure overheats, as when playing vigorous beach games, my skin sheath releases the heat in the form of moisture. In other words, I 'sweat'. You may feel the moisture against my warm skin if you wish."

Jenn: "You're worse than the felids! Why I am apparently irresistible to dykes?"

Rune: "Initiating stage one sexual contact, friend Jenn!"


Jenn'lar Temlin is a Battlemind, a special agent for the Psychic Investigation Agency based in the floating city. She was chosen by the Sky Council to join Keira's crusade against the Far Realm blight - and to represent them in the World Topless Volleyball competition. Her inclusion was quite controversial, as Caucasians are a notable minority in Haestavar - most inhabitants of the sky city have brown skin. Despite some mumbling that her inclusion was tokenism and even 'political correctness gone mad', she has thus far served her city well.

Her tattoos clearly mark her as a former tribal, one whose clan was 'uplifted' by the Haestevarians and taught 'civilised' ways. Jenn works hard to prove herself worthy in her new society, but secretly still clings to some tribal ways, such as wearing the sphene necklace her mother gave her as a girl, and wearing plaited braids in her hair.

Jenn has a tendency to suffer good-natured misfortune, and is frequently a subject of unwanted attention from unusual sources, such as bi-curious robots and amorous fluffy monsters.


The Lady-Paladin Rune Westlocke hails from Eberron, a secret laboratory experiment for House Cannith, in fact. But she escaped with the aid of her friend, the gnome inventor Roswyn, and came to Haestevar. She was very impressed with the technological wonder of the sky city, and decided to stay, setting up a small mission for her goddess, DolArrah, and taking on quests for the Sky Council.

While most warforged are simple wooden dolls with metal plating, with the will and intellect of simple golems, Rune is a fantastically advanced prototype. She has a silver sheath skin and polymer muscles over an adamantine skeleton, and complex, delicate clockworks that serve as a brain and a heart. Her internal power structure allows for nearly infinite lifespan and continual activity. While unable to eat or drink, she otherwise approximates the biology and emotions of a human female.

Intended as a bodyguard and companion for one of the high-ranking members of House Cannith, the goddess of light breathed upon her, giving her a soul and a spirit like any living creature. Taking the name 'Rune Westlake', the young paladin is fascinated by her own existence, and eager to explore the human world and all its attendant pleasures...


Jenn

Spiking 2
Guile 2
Willpower 3
Finesse 3
Stamina 4
Sex Appeal 3

Rune

Spiking 4
Guile 2
Willpower 3
Finesse 1
Stamina 4
Sex Appeal 3
Add a Comment:
 
:iconmortisx:
MortisX Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2015
"I approve of your desire to upgrade yourself using synthetic means."
Yeah. Good desire. =)
Reply
:iconmaelora69:
Maelora69 Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
That's robots for you.
Reply
:iconboudartmoreau2:
boudartmoreau2 Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2015
:) nice
Reply
:icontranscendantviewer:
transcendantviewer Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2014
Not to be that guy but... Since when are Warforged "simple wooden dolls with metal plating, with the will and intellect of simple golems"? I've made a plethora of Warforged Characters, the majority of which are extensively intelligent and devastatingly powerful. I will admit that the part about their bodies may be accurate, they do appear to be wooden template dolls encased in iron, steel, mithril and adamantine, but they are (usually) far from the rudimentary intelligence of golems.
Reply
:iconmaelora69:
Maelora69 Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Nope, this is how we played it.   This one is the only PC and the only one with any human intelligence in our games. 
Reply
:icontranscendantviewer:
transcendantviewer Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2014
I guess that works. I spent a lot of time researching the Warforged race because it's one of my favorites of any of the D&D settings. I did build a Warforged Charger Juggernaut, but his Int is still a 10. Took some crazy rolls for that one, but he's a great character, even with a 4 for Cha.
Reply
:iconmaelora69:
Maelora69 Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Sounds good.

And Rune's origin story is here, explaining how she's a prototype. She's not really a 'warforged' to be honest, she's more like a steampunk android:

maelora69.deviantart.com/art/G…
Reply
:icontranscendantviewer:
transcendantviewer Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2014
Yeah, I saw that a few months ago. It seemed rather well written. 

transcendantviewer.deviantart.…

Here's my Warforged character, Dreadnought.
Reply
:iconmaelora69:
Maelora69 Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Good character. Juggernauts are cool.
Reply
:icontranscendantviewer:
transcendantviewer Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2014
Thanks for the vote of confidence. I put a lot into his backstory to make it seem more interesting. He does what every juggernaut aspires to do and does it well, that's why I'm proud of the character.
Reply
:icondiploraptor:
DiploRaptor Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2013  Hobbyist
Interesting note it is a lot harder too come up with funny things when the literature itself is already comedic

Poor poor Jenn she just can't get any breaks, by the end of this tournament she and Rune are going to lose because of Rune's curiosity getting the better of her.
Its not the stats that will kill these two if fact which such good stats they hold a greater chances at winning but with a curious robo-girl and a not so curious Jenn things probably won't end well.

Jenn provides good all around stats with lower aptitudes in spikes and guile. But a strong stamina
Rune has power but little control making her better for the set up then the actual spike depending on the situation.
So a good team whose strengths cover weakness's and probably carry the greatest chance of victory.

DiploRaptor without his ability to be witty or comedic is a sad DiploRaptor
Reply
:iconthebookie:
TheBookie Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2013
I love my computer/
You're always in the mood/
I get so turned on/
When I turn on you/
I love my computer/
You never ask for more/
You can be a princess/
Or you can be my whore/
And it's never been quite so easy/
I've never been quite so happy/
The world outside is so big/
But it's safe in my domain/
Because to you/
I'm just a number/
And a clever screen name/
All I need to do is click on you/
And we'll be together for eternity/
And no one is ever gonna take my love/
From me because I've got security,/
Her password and a key

--Bad Company, "I Love My Computer"

Well, not quite the correct tone, but close enough. Plus the song is cool.

There's some line (damned if I can find it) in Austin Grossman's You about the young geeks' choice of partners--"First choice, robot, second, alien." Little sounds better then a gynoid, eh?
Reply
:iconalzrius:
Alzrius Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2013
Hm, if Rune is from the Eberron cosmology, how did a deity bring her to true life, as that setting's deities don't conclusively exist?
Reply
:iconmaelora69:
Maelora69 Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
It's a bit of a mish-mash of various 4E sources.

And personally I think if a deity can hand out spells it can grant sentience to an automaton.

Besides, I think the presence of a gynoid warforged indicates we don't care too much about canon :)
Reply
:iconalzrius:
Alzrius Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2013
A deity can likely hand out sentience to an automaton, particularly since very few systems try to quantify what D&D deities can do - I only know of three off the top of my head, those being the 3E Deities and Demigods, the old The Primal Order "capstone" system, and The Immortal's Handbook: Ascension, for 3.5E.

But yeah, I sort of guessed that you weren't too married to the canon.
Reply
:iconmaelora69:
Maelora69 Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Who really knows who was responsible? Rune thinks it was her goddess. Who's to say? I'm a big believer in the 'Tom Bombadil/Lady of Pain' syndrome, that not everything should be quantified or explained. Theories of course, may abound, as in our world.

I'm of a generation who's approach to role-playing is 'take what you like and leave what you don't'. So I can use canon or leave it as the fancy takes me. I actually think that the fetishization of Rules As Written has generally damaged the hobby.

For example I was reading about some Shadowrun player who had a hissy fit on some messageboard because a scenario has some corporation using their own black ops team, whereas the rulebook said: 'when corporations want to do black ops, they turn to Shadowrunners'. That kind of dogma is just silly.

Besides, our games tend to run on 'rule of cool'. My players know that, and abuse it, but if the result looks cool, it's all good.
Reply
:iconalzrius:
Alzrius Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2013
I can understand the syndrome you're describing, though I generally don't agree with it. There are one or two things I wouldn't want to see defined (e.g. the Dark Powers of Ravenloft), but for the most part I believe that things should be quantified.

There's a simple reason for that: I believe that subtraction (of elements you don't like) is easier than addition (of things you want, that aren't present). In other words, it's easy to ignore a stat block if you don't care for it, and just say "we aren't using this; in my game, X is undefined." On the other hand, if you look at something undefined and want it to have quantified stats, you tend to have a markedly more difficult task ahead of you.

On a side note, that Shadowrun story sounds awfully familiar. I think I heard that in one of the Counter Monkey rants by The Spoony One a while back. Maybe it's a popular story.
Reply
:iconmaelora69:
Maelora69 Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Actually I assumed the Ravenloft bosses are foes who are meant to be fought and eventually killed. The Lady of Pain is the best D&D example, as she's supposed to be an enigmatic force of nature, not a monster to be fought.

It's the old 'Deities and Demigods' as Monster Manual for the big boys. If you give something stats, someone somewhere want to kill it.

Maybe that story is apocryphal. A modern urban legend about the tyranny of RAW...
Reply
:iconalzrius:
Alzrius Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2013
I think you're thinking of the dark lords of Ravenloft - the people who rule over individual domains. They're different from the Dark Powers, the undefined (and presumably bodiless) entities that rule the entire demi-plane.

Likewise, just because someone wants to kill something doesn't mean that the GM has to allow it. If the GM says "in my game, gods have no stats," then who cares what the book says? It's a bit harder on that particular GM if the reverse is true.
Reply
:iconmaelora69:
Maelora69 Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I'd say it works both ways - if a GM really wants his players to fight the Lady of Pain or someone, for some reason, they can use whatever stats he likes. Whereas statting them from the off is just kind of inviting them to be used as foes.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconweatherman667:
weatherman667 Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2013
3 Sex Appeal for Rune?
Reply
:iconmaelora69:
Maelora69 Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
17 Charisma, only one less than the maximum she could have.

Remember a 3 on this scale is pretty high :)
Reply
:iconweatherman667:
weatherman667 Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2013
it's just having it that high with her more robotic nature, interesting.

A 17 Charisma would do it.
Reply
:iconhellzeine:
Hellzeine Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
That's how Warforged are ought to be.
Reply
:iconmaelora69:
Maelora69 Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
She's a special case, a very sophisticated prototype!
Reply
:iconlevia-the-dragon:
Levia-the-Dragon Featured By Owner May 31, 2013
D+D eh... I see what you did there. =P

Heh, those pesky robots, always able to tell if someone's had work done...

Oh... ohhhh... so Jenn is trying to keep up the "no homo" defense that might just be her doth protesting too much, and Rune doesn't know how to take no for an answer. :O
Reply
:iconmaelora69:
Maelora69 Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Heh, yes, it was kind of a running joke that even the monsters were hitting on poor Jenn!

Rune is very persistent though.

I based this exchange on Edi's flirting with Samantha during Mass Effect 'Citadel', though...
Reply
:iconlevia-the-dragon:
Levia-the-Dragon Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2013
Oh dears...

Clearly. =P

Yah, I noticed how hilarious that was, though personally I thought the EDI/Joker relationship being as solid as it was made that scene feel a little out of place...
Reply
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