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"You've been acting awful tough lately
Smoking a lot of cigarettes lately
But inside, you're just a little baby...
It's okay to say you've got a weak spot
You don't always have to be on top
Better to be hated, than loved, loved, loved for what you're not...
You're vulnerable, you're vulnerable
You are not a robot...
You're loveable, so loveable
But you're just troubled...
Guess what? I'm not a robot..."
Marina and the Diamonds; 'I Am Not A Robot'
The last in the series from ,who I think you'll agree has done my characters proud!
The 'Haestevar Hurricanes' beach volley team; the battlemind Jenn'lar Temlin and the Lady-Paladin Rune Westlake.
Jenn: "W-what the hells are you doing? Stop it!"
Rune: 'I am measuring the weight of your left mammary gland, friend Jenn. You will be pleased to know it weighs a prodigious four and one half pounds."
Jenn: "I don't care! Let go!"
Rune: "Your chirurgeon is very skilled, friend Jenn. They look very real. Unless one can detect silicon as I can."
Jenn: "Okay, tinribs - that's enough!"
Rune: "I do not understand your inference, friend Jenn. My ribs are not made of tin, but an almost indestructible adamantine alloy. Ah yes; human humour! 'Tinribs'; an implication I am an artificial construct! That is most humorous. But while your beautiful full breasts are artificial, you should remember that I am wholly inorganic. I approve of your desire to upgrade yourself using synthetic means."
Jenn: "Y-you're supposed to be a paladin, aren't you? Since when did paladins get off touching people up?"
Rune: "The Divine Order of DolArrah does not forbid consensual sexual coupling, friend Jenn. My sensors detect you are sexually aroused. I would very much like you to help me explore my sexual parameters."
Jenn: "W-what? You're some kind of... sex-bot?"
Rune: "I do not recognise that terminology. But I was designed with a full suite of emotions and with sexual pleasure centres that approximate those of a human female, yes. And while I am a virgin, I am programmed with a range of pleasuring techniques. Your dilated pupils and racing heart-rate indicate sexual arousal, friend Jenn. Will you couple with me?"
Jenn: "I - I am NOT aroused! *blush* This is your last warning -"
Rune: *smiles* "Roswyn has removed my integral weapon systems so I may participate in the beach volleyball game. You shall come to no harm, friend Jenn. I very much anticipate our exchange of bodily fluids."
Jenn: "Y-you have bodily fluids...?"
Rune: "Alas not, friend Jenn. I was using a human expression of speech. But when my internal power structure overheats, as when playing vigorous beach games, my skin sheath releases the heat in the form of moisture. In other words, I 'sweat'. You may feel the moisture against my warm skin if you wish."
Jenn: "You're worse than the felids! Why I am apparently irresistible to dykes?"
Rune: "Initiating stage one sexual contact, friend Jenn!"
Jenn'lar Temlin is a Battlemind, a special agent for the Psychic Investigation Agency based in the floating city. She was chosen by the Sky Council to join Keira's crusade against the Far Realm blight - and to represent them in the World Topless Volleyball competition. Her inclusion was quite controversial, as Caucasians are a notable minority in Haestavar - most inhabitants of the sky city have brown skin. Despite some mumbling that her inclusion was tokenism and even 'political correctness gone mad', she has thus far served her city well.
Her tattoos clearly mark her as a former tribal, one whose clan was 'uplifted' by the Haestevarians and taught 'civilised' ways. Jenn works hard to prove herself worthy in her new society, but secretly still clings to some tribal ways, such as wearing the sphene necklace her mother gave her as a girl, and wearing plaited braids in her hair.
Jenn has a tendency to suffer good-natured misfortune, and is frequently a subject of unwanted attention from unusual sources, such as bi-curious robots and amorous fluffy monsters.
The Lady-Paladin Rune Westlocke hails from Eberron, a secret laboratory experiment for House Cannith, in fact. But she escaped with the aid of her friend, the gnome inventor Roswyn, and came to Haestevar. She was very impressed with the technological wonder of the sky city, and decided to stay, setting up a small mission for her goddess, DolArrah, and taking on quests for the Sky Council.
While most warforged are simple wooden dolls with metal plating, with the will and intellect of simple golems, Rune is a fantastically advanced prototype. She has a silver sheath skin and polymer muscles over an adamantine skeleton, and complex, delicate clockworks that serve as a brain and a heart. Her internal power structure allows for nearly infinite lifespan and continual activity. While unable to eat or drink, she otherwise approximates the biology and emotions of a human female.
Intended as a bodyguard and companion for one of the high-ranking members of House Cannith, the goddess of light breathed upon her, giving her a soul and a spirit like any living creature. Taking the name 'Rune Westlake', the young paladin is fascinated by her own existence, and eager to explore the human world and all its attendant pleasures...
Sex Appeal 3
Sex Appeal 3
Yeah. Good desire.
Poor poor Jenn she just can't get any breaks, by the end of this tournament she and Rune are going to lose because of Rune's curiosity getting the better of her.
Its not the stats that will kill these two if fact which such good stats they hold a greater chances at winning but with a curious robo-girl and a not so curious Jenn things probably won't end well.
Jenn provides good all around stats with lower aptitudes in spikes and guile. But a strong stamina
Rune has power but little control making her better for the set up then the actual spike depending on the situation.
So a good team whose strengths cover weakness's and probably carry the greatest chance of victory.
DiploRaptor without his ability to be witty or comedic is a sad DiploRaptor
You're always in the mood/
I get so turned on/
When I turn on you/
I love my computer/
You never ask for more/
You can be a princess/
Or you can be my whore/
And it's never been quite so easy/
I've never been quite so happy/
The world outside is so big/
But it's safe in my domain/
Because to you/
I'm just a number/
And a clever screen name/
All I need to do is click on you/
And we'll be together for eternity/
And no one is ever gonna take my love/
From me because I've got security,/
Her password and a key
--Bad Company, "I Love My Computer"
Well, not quite the correct tone, but close enough. Plus the song is cool.
There's some line (damned if I can find it) in Austin Grossman's You about the young geeks' choice of partners--"First choice, robot, second, alien." Little sounds better then a gynoid, eh?
And personally I think if a deity can hand out spells it can grant sentience to an automaton.
Besides, I think the presence of a gynoid warforged indicates we don't care too much about canon
But yeah, I sort of guessed that you weren't too married to the canon.
I'm of a generation who's approach to role-playing is 'take what you like and leave what you don't'. So I can use canon or leave it as the fancy takes me. I actually think that the fetishization of Rules As Written has generally damaged the hobby.
For example I was reading about some Shadowrun player who had a hissy fit on some messageboard because a scenario has some corporation using their own black ops team, whereas the rulebook said: 'when corporations want to do black ops, they turn to Shadowrunners'. That kind of dogma is just silly.
Besides, our games tend to run on 'rule of cool'. My players know that, and abuse it, but if the result looks cool, it's all good.
There's a simple reason for that: I believe that subtraction (of elements you don't like) is easier than addition (of things you want, that aren't present). In other words, it's easy to ignore a stat block if you don't care for it, and just say "we aren't using this; in my game, X is undefined." On the other hand, if you look at something undefined and want it to have quantified stats, you tend to have a markedly more difficult task ahead of you.
On a side note, that Shadowrun story sounds awfully familiar. I think I heard that in one of the Counter Monkey rants by The Spoony One a while back. Maybe it's a popular story.
It's the old 'Deities and Demigods' as Monster Manual for the big boys. If you give something stats, someone somewhere want to kill it.
Maybe that story is apocryphal. A modern urban legend about the tyranny of RAW...
Likewise, just because someone wants to kill something doesn't mean that the GM has to allow it. If the GM says "in my game, gods have no stats," then who cares what the book says? It's a bit harder on that particular GM if the reverse is true.
Remember a 3 on this scale is pretty high
Heh, those pesky robots, always able to tell if someone's had work done...
Oh... ohhhh... so Jenn is trying to keep up the "no homo" defense that might just be her doth protesting too much, and Rune doesn't know how to take no for an answer.
Rune is very persistent though.
I based this exchange on Edi's flirting with Samantha during Mass Effect 'Citadel', though...