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Helja + Barda: Cat Fight

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:iconradprofile: perfectly captures the moment... :)


"I heard that you were talking shit

And you didn't think that I would hear it!

People hear you talking like that, getting everybody fired up...

So I'm ready to attack, gonna lead the pack

Gonna get a touchdown, gonna take you out!

That's right, put your pom-poms down, getting everybody fired up...

So that's right dude, meet me at the bleachers

No principals, no student-teachers

All the boys want to be the winner, but there can only be one

So I'm gonna fight, gonna give it my all

Gonna make you fall, gonna sock it to you

That's right, I'm the last one standing, another one bites the dust!"

Gwen Stefani, 'Hollaback Girl'


Dwarves are a proud people, and they don't back down when they feel their pride has been affronted. So much so that a complex culture has formed around the concept of honour duels, where warriors may settle their scores in front of their peers, and in the sight of their revered ancestors.  That way, nobody gets seriously maimed or killed, and honour can be satisfied without weakening the fighting strength of the delve.

Unfortunately, women cannot fight in the arena, because the rare 5% of dwarves with the right chromosome are simply too valuable to risk in such foolish endeavours.  Dwarven women have their own, equally elaborate, forms of settling disputes and establishing a pecking order, and none of these forms included topless hot oil wrestling.

Until now.

As a priestess, Bardryn stands outside dwarven propriety anyway, free to act as she pleases, and Helja has long shocked the conservative notions of how a dwarven maid should act - to the point that most dwarven parents fear their sons would just burst into flames the moment she locked eyes on them. Mercifully, Helja prefers humans, but those tastes led the bosomy pair to their current face-off.

A handsome young Tuatha chieftain was the centre of a 'misunderstanding' when Helja helped herself to Barda's swain for the night, and harsh words (and blunt instruments) were liberally hurled. In the end, it was decided that they would have to have it out, right there in the human fjord village, and bragging rights would be secured.  While most of the men felt there was enough room among them for more than one over-sexed four-foot bombshell, they also liked the idea of watching these two competitive femmes fight it out.

Barda is as well-spoken and classy as Helja is foul-mouthed and filthy, and both women found it easy to find things about the other they disliked.  With the war of words over,  they turn to the serious business of the drinking contest, followed by the fight itself, which will be followed by a contest of a more amorous nature to really prove who has the most stamina and prowess.

Whatever the outcome, the men of the Tuatha clearly feel they will be counted among the winners.

And alas, no matter how epic the battle, this is one duel that will never sully the Shaperate's records with a mention...  


Helja Soldorak (Forgekeep), Battlerager Fighter, by me: maelora69.deviantart.com/art/G…

Bardryn Belindorn (Battlehammer), Storm Warpriest, by Amberly: maelora69.deviantart.com/art/E…



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Comments14
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Fightinglisa's avatar
This looks like it is going to be an epic bar fight. Of course I am betting on the redhead.